Growing up

The times when small things
Could bring us joy
Our faces lit up with
But just one small toy
When our mothers made
Sure that we ate all right
And we always had daddy
Holding our hands very tight.

What happened to the innocence
That once was within?
What happened to the honesty,
The ethics and the discipline?
When did the concept of
Love and friendship change?
When did life become
Just about our selfish selves?

Why is it not possible to
Run back to the purity of childhood?
Why are we alone and
Why is that our choice?
Why do we expect the worst
And not believe the good?
Why do we deceive the world
And then even lie to ourselves?

Is this is what growing up is about?
Is this what it all was meant to be?
Was childhood just a happy dream?
Was faith in god just an excuse?
So where do we go from here?
So do we just keep walking alone?
Will there ever be answers to questions?
Will there ever be a happy me?

Goodbye Sweet Love

Goodbye sweet love
I wish you all the best
You have taught me so much, my love
And today, I stand to take the test
It took a few things to go
To get a few things new
Today it does not pain to let go
Regrets and doubts are very few.

Goodbye sweet memories
The past does not haunt me now
I learnt how not to believe your stories
I learnt how to live for myself now
You got me to give up some old wishes
You got me to make some new ones
Today I do not have any grievances
Today I smile with my loved ones.

Goodbye sweet thoughts
I think differently now
Goodbye sweet innocence
I know life much better now
I do not love you anymore sweet love
Nor will I hate you ever
So Goodbye my sweet loveI pray you be happy forever.

Life To Me

I was walking on the beach one night
Walking alone with no one in sight
My mind was filled with a lot of thoughts
Thoughts abstract that I could not fight.

I looked up at the moonlit sky
It seemed to assure that it will protect me
I walked towards the singing waves
Who seemed to sing the songs of life to me.

The wet golden sands comforted my feet
The cool wind played with my long black hair
A voice whispered all that I wanted to know
All that life is about- how it is always fair.

Life is the reality made up of dreams
It is the hope got out of disappointments
It is the peace that evolves from hostility
It is the creation that follows destruction.

The soothing voice explained
How every dark cloud has a silver lining,
How every problem has a solution and
How every end is only another beginning.

I understood I was never alone
I have always had so much of love showered on me
I understood that life is far above the petty sad things
And that it has always been just to me.

The Empty Me

I wanted to see the world
So I left you and went ahead
I wanted to succeed in life
So I abandoned whatever stood in my way
Now that I stand here
Reaching the peak very few can
Why am I all alone?
Why am I repentant?
Why cannot I even share the joy?

I am content but am oblivious
Of what real happiness is
Everybody knows me now
But I have lost my real identity
So karma really does exist?
Am I broken because of
The heartaches I caused long ago?
Was it a miscalculated mistake on my part,
Or was it just simple justified fate?

I have forgotten how to smile
I have given up all those
Who now I know meant the most to me
Is it too late to beg for forgiveness?
Are they too far for me to get them back?
I wish I had listened then
To the shrieking conscience in me
And now everything is gone,
There is nothing left but the empty me.

Always

I can walk alone
But I will like you to walk along with me
I can go alone
But I will like you to come with me
I am happy but you make me happier
I am not lonely but you make me feel complete
Just hold my hand all the time
And always be with me.

I can reach my goals by myself
But I will like you to cheer me on
I can conquer the word by myself
But where is the prize if you are gone?
I am successful but you are my pride
I am thoughtful and you are my reason
Just hold me close
And always love me.

I do not need to be by myself
I do not require doing things alone
I am content with us being together
I am pleased that you are my strength
I am what I am and you let me be
I do what I do and you still cherish me
Just be what you have been
And always let us be.

Sometimes..

Sometimes things are not what they seem
But sometimes, they just are
Sometimes you feel from within
And sometimes from feelings, you just are very far.

Sometimes you try too hard to change
But sometimes, you are glad of what you are
Sometimes you wish things to be different
And sometimes you are content with what they now are.

Sometimes letting go is not easy
But sometimes, it is more difficult to hold on
Sometimes you want to grab onto everything
And sometimes you realize that all is gone.

Sometimes it is so simple to understand
But sometimes, it is simpler not to reason
Sometimes you know actions are necessary
And sometimes it is wiser to do nothing.

Sometimes one way seems to be right
Sometimes the other does not seem wrong either
Sometimes both paths you are unwilling to take
But thats just how life is, how it always was.

UNTITLED....

( THIS IS BY MY FRIEND...SOME RANDOM FEELINGS JOTTED DOWN..)

There's something I've just got to ask
What was running through your mind
Did you honestly think that I wouldn't care
That I wouldn't die, from your goodbye

It's like your mind was made up
You didn't even want to hear me out
Instead you called me a liar
You took the easy way out.

I wanted to work things out
If I remember correctly, it's not me
But you who walked away without
Trying to see, things werent as they seemed

What I don't understand
Is that you know me, you know who I am
I don't lie, esspecially like the way you said
You know I care as much as I can

On the other hand, even though deep down
You have killed me and broken my heart
I know that the real you still lies inside of you
One day you're going to realize
It's not me, but you who you caused harm

The day you realize and see
Exactly what it is that you have done
thn maybe bth of us wil realise our mistakes
but somethings i know cannot just be undone.

maybe somethings were just to be
maybe somethings were just not
maybe i will move on from this someday
or maybe i will just not.

When things go bad... They just go bad

(this ones dedicated to a friend who had given me this title to write on... im hoping you see the optimism in this one.)

When you walk the road of your existence
You come across many a junction
Time teaches you humility and patience
And shows you how God makes our lives function
He makes our paths challenging
Therefore, we realise the significance of each goal achieved
Reaching ambitions have never been easy
Things seem to go wrong even before aims are reached
But, when things go bad
They just go bad
Only to make things better after a while.

When things go bad
The heart beats faster
Moments may be sad
But this is not a disaster
This is not the end
It is just another bend
There is nothing to worry about
Because in life
When things go bad
They just go bad
And then life moves on.

Would It Always Be This Way?

Wanting to be together
Yet choosing to be apart
Longing to hold each other
Yet trying not to believe the heart
We both know we are mistaken
However the price we are both unwilling to pay
Things could have been so amazingly different
Then why did we end up this way?

We walk away from each other now
Yet have not been able to look away
We move on to different lives now
Where we hope the happiness will stay
But is that feasible?
Did not we try this so many times before?
Why are we still hurting now?
How did this happen all over again?

When we speak now
Knowing the circumstances to be inappropriate
Why are the feelings still of those times now?
Are we being bided again in the game of fate?
It may be easier to be apart than to be together
Perhaps that is the reason we have come to this day
But is this all that life to us can offer?
Would it always be this way?

Guilty..

(these are some random lines about two people who used to be a significant part of my life.. all that remain of them are memories...some good, some bad)

I just wanted to protect you
To take care of you when you were alone
I just wanted to believe in you
When everyone said you were wrong
I wish you understood that i really did care
I wish you knew that i never did compare
Nevertheless, the mistakes were mine
I was the one who had the expectations
I am the one guilty for believing in our friendship.

I just wanted to be with you
In times of sorrow and of happiness
I just wanted to share my life with you
And cherish all the amazing moments spent
I wish you knew that i meant each promise i made
I wish you could realise the depth of each word i said
However, the faults were mine
I was the one who could never see beyond us
I am the one guilty for believing in our love.

I Need To Be Reminded That I Am Loved.

Stretching my hand
To attain the unattainable
Trying to run away from what
I know to be inevitable
The silent cries behind the laughter
The tears hid in those smiling eyes.

Tell me what to do
Hold my hand i am lost
Take me to my destiny
I need to be reminded that i am loved.

The million answers
To questions unasked
In the night alone
Counting the countless stars
The unvoiced prayersto get things unwanted
Figuring out solutions to problems unknown.

Tell me what to do
Hold my hand i am lost
Take me to my destiny
I need to be reminded that i am loved.

This life is not
Just mine to live
Yet all that i do not understand
Belongs to me alone
Am strengthened with love but
Bent with expectations of others.

Tell me what to do
Hold my hand i am lost
Take me to my destiny
I need to be reminded that i am loved.

Genuine Counterfeit

You said the words i needed to hear
You made me feel what i wanted to feel
Yet you were not there when i looked around
You were gone, not to be found
Now i know it was simple yet genuine counterfeit.

I went to sleep with my head on your chest
I woke up with your arms around me
Now i am alone on my bed
Why were you there in the first place
If you had to leave
Now i know it was plain yet genuine counterfeit.

I liked smiling with the thought of you
Smelling of you when you were not around
Now just the memories remain
Of what was not there even when it existed
Now i know it was effortless yet genuine counterfeit.

I remember you looking into my eyes
And with yours making a million promises
The silent prayers and the dreams shown
Shattered into pieces still being unspoken
I cried then not knowing what
Now i know to be pure and genuine counterfeit.

Truth...

Knowing may be believing
But it is so far from understanding
The beauty or ugliness of what is true
How it heals or deepens a wound that already grew.

Late on a cloudless night
Gazing at a particular star
Helplessly pondering over how things might
Have been different from what they are.

A deception can actually
Make a heart grow fonder
How a thing like this can be true
One still does wonder.

The same thing in different circumstances
Can make the same person laugh and cry
The same reason may, for different persons,
Be the reason to live or to die.

Incidents happening in front of you
Still hinder you from believing them
Everything is like the morning dew
Nothing remains the same.

All that can be done
Is to accept what needs to be accepted
Remember shine still must the sun
And away from the truth you just cannot run

The Light Does Shine On Me...

I smile with the smiling faces around me
I love the loving souls around me
Showered with care and happiness
I do not even see a glimpse of darkness.

I may walk alone sometimes
But am aware of people who are always with me
I may make mistakes at times
But I have friends who understand and forgive me.

The love and friendship
Always hold me tight
The joy gained is above any hardship
I never feel lonely at night.

The pleasant things in life will never seem to cease
If you look at life the way I do
The clear blue skies and the fresh green trees
And with just a little understanding of who is who.

I wonderingly gaze outside the window
The soothing sunlight touches me
I am happy and it feels as though
The light does shine on me.

Shaken Not Stirred...

With tears im my eyes My vision may be blurred I am shaken Though not stirred Shaken from my dreams, my beliefs And what I was lured Into thinking was my destiny. I hear the joy and happiness Calling out loud to me But something that had been Would not let go of me, I pray hard to have The strength to set free And run to where i belong. I have had my share Of sorrow, deceit and lies Its time for me to fly now Fly high into the clear blue skies Being where i should And doing what i want No more heart-broken cries I shut my eyes tight The tear drops down kissing my cheek I open my eyes now And can see a magical light There is nothing left of what should not be, Now I wipe that tear alright- I know i am just Shaken not stirrred.